now, rob birdwell, projects, music, gigs, life Now page of me, Rob Birdwell. What's going on now? What am I working on? What morsel of information will I dare to share? This page was inspired by Derek Sivers and his Now page idea. It seems like a good idea. See his: https://sivers.org/now ...and also his https://nownownow.com/about page.

Now

What I'm Working On

Summer / Fall / Winter 2024

First of all, if you actually care about any of this stuff I post bless you! Most people don't. Whenever I introduce an original song into the world - one with deep meaning, one that I think represents some meaningful work - I'm almost always let down and simply have to brush it off and move on. And honestly I sort of get it having gone through this time and time again - we're all busy, got our own things etc., and we're all inundated with new music by an army of established artists, etc. So who cares about someone plodding away in obscurity?

But there's a catch and a silver lining!

Perform that same song in front of a live audience - better yet, with a band that supports it - and, bam, suddenly people seem to care! So that's a bit of what I'm working on - getting my songs out into the air in front of people rather than just electronically. Demos and recordings are good - but I have to remember they're mostly for me so that I can reflect on it later, create a lead sheet, and/or as a reference for other musicians. The dream of catching the attention of anyone in the biz seems virtually nil and that's just based on years of putting stuff out that I thought, at the time, was pretty good. But I'm not writing music to please others - I write (music/lyrics and compositions) because it's what I do and what I enjoy doing.

When I hear a great song by another artist, I'm reminded that it started from nothing and that it took a great deal of work to get the song written, produced, recorded, promoted, and performed live. That's not intimidating, it's inspiring to me. So great artists, with all their varying successes and failures, drive me to want to join them in that worthy occupation, writing music/songs. 

I can't speak for others, but as a songwriter I seek success at every level. Whether any given song I write is a success or failure matters little to me. It was the writing of it - completing it, performing it, etc. - that matters most. Do any of us like every song of our favorite artists? Of course not! So what does that say? Well, for starters maybe that "failure" is the actual norm, so get used to it! (Or give it a more flattering label?) It's okay to write something that doesn't work out. It's okay because that's how life works - not every meal is our favorite, not every day perfect, and not every song (by anyone successful in the industry or merely striving) will make it out of the studio, den, kitchen, bathroom, or wherever the deed went down.

And that's why I keep writing! I love the journey, the discovery, figuring it out, editing, revising, imagining the possibilities, and the satisfaction of creating and completing something.

So, to the point of this "Now" thing - here's what I'm aiming for these next few months:

Gigs/Performances - probably more for 2025 but it's not enough for me to be playing just anything (never has been). As a writer, I'm not happy just playing standards, old chestnuts and/or OPM (other people's music). That's fine for a bit and certainly keeps me honest. Jams are okay but can be at best a learning experience or at their worst complete train wrecks. But I take nothing away from playing with others in any shape or form. I like getting my feet wet on a consistent basis, but I don't want to drown in those waters. Carving out a space for my original songs is important to me - if others don't get that then, well, sorry. I need to have that space in the mix of things, otherwise I get a bit unhappy.

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PAST ENTRIES 

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Winter/Spring/Summer 2023

What I Hope You'll Check Out!

Back in August 2022 I had a surgery (13 hours!) to remove a benign tumor behind my left ear and pushing on my brain. It's called an Acoustic Neuroma or (more accurately) a Vestibular Schwannoma. It was a large 3.2 cm (benign) mass and I had a world-class team of surgeons, nurses, and healthcare professionals to help me get rid of it. It was a humbling experience. While everything went as planned, there was a lot of uncertainty and it was a painful recovery. As of this writing I'm 6 months post-op. I'm back to playing my horn(s), writing new music, and feeling like "me". I have a deeper appreciation for my own life and also the struggles that others are going through.

I wasn't able to play my horn for a couple months. And to make matters even more interesting, my hearing (single sided) was completely distorted - voices sounded higher in pitch, music sounded warbly and de-tuned/mod-filtered. Thankfully, my brain adjusted and my hearing is back to being good again and music sounds good - really good actually! When I did start playing my horns again it was hard. I couldn't even play my tuning note! But over time, my chops/embouchure got stronger (I'm so fortunate) and gradually it came back and every day is a gift. The docs said my facial nerve was preserved and anticipated my full recovery - but yikes, there were many weeks where I just wasn't sure, but had to just keep doing the work/exercises.

I had a re-occurring dream post-op. If only I could play one note, I'd be able to fake it from there. Naturally, after one note I wanted more - and thankfully more notes followed. 

Roughly two months after surgery I could sing, was doing low long tones on my flugelhorn, and my brain fog was clearing up. Was still in some pain though. I wanted to write some songs, but also wanted to write something meaningful, to myself at least. Something simple and timeless - so I began writing a children's series entitled The Adventures of Sam and Caw. The first episode is Winter Is Coming. I'm currently writing more episodes for Spring, Summer and Fall to have a complete "season" - and even though it's not something I'm promoting at this moment, I am starting to share things as I think it's pretty darn good material! I have plans for it since the series serves as a way for me to express through song, lyric, and story (and even a bit of acting) and it's also super fun!

I'm looking forward to performing live more. I've re-connected with Dave Storrs and performed at Interzone in Corvallis over the last 3 months or so. The first outing for me 3 months ago was mostly just a chance to test my chops out - at that time I had a range of about a 6th, but you'd be surprised what I was able to fake my way through! By the end of January 2023 I was able to play a 3 minute cadenza as part of the program and my chops were feeling almost "normal", being able to play above the staff at least, although my high C's and D's are probably a couple more months away. It's a journey though. The good news is that by exercising my chops on not just Trumpet/Flugelhorn (my primaries), getting in some time on Trombone, Flute (brand new to me), Tenor Sax, and doing acupuncture, physical therapy, swimming, walking, talking, singing, and more, have all contributed to my musical conditioning. I'm back at it and most folks have no clue of what I went through. Gotta credit the docs for that!

We all have to face a dark time now and then. It's sucks mightily. I'm glad that I was brave and all that, but really what other choice is/was there? We're here on this planet/existence for only a flash.

Anyway, this is my current "now" - there's much more to any of our "now" periods, but this is a small glimpse into mine.

 

 

Jeffries Tube Rendezvous

Jeffries Tube Rendezvous

This tune was written and produced over a ten day period. It started with a ukulele chord progression that I was jamming on before bed. The next day I came up with a melody and a couple days later I started recording it! The title arises from my enjoyment of Star Trek. The "Jeffries Tube" is referenced now and then - it is where the crew typically goes to repair stuff. There's often a sense of urgency and life or death in there - but sometimes it's just routine maintenance and a normal day at the office. Probably not a lot of romance going on in the old tube - but who knows!? The song seems to have a touch of a romantic quality to it, but there are other musical moods going on.

Anyway, "Jeffries Tube Rendezvous" is just a title - a catchy handle to go with the tune and the vibe I was flowing with. I had fun writing it and recording it - it all came together so quickly. Enjoy!

 

Copyright © 2023 Rob Birdwell / BirdwellMusic.com

Quietly cover art.

This idea of a "Now" page came from Derek Sivers. For more information about them, visit https://nownownow.com/about

Morning was written during the late summer of the pandemic in 2020. I'd recently purchased a ukulele as I was feeling a bit down (who wasn't?) and thought it might cheer me up. (If I were a stand-up comedian, I'd open this story with, "You know, a guy needs something small to play with once in a while.") The ukulele was sort of my own pandemic pet, only this one didn't bark and all I needed to do was strum it. As I began to learn chords and fumble my way on the instrument I found myself writing songs on it. I honestly didn't expect that to happen. I normally write at the piano, so this was sort of a new experience. As many may recount, the pandemic produced a fair amount anxiety in friends, family, co-workers, and in the community. And though I was privileged in so many ways (able to work from home, family close by, a community that encouraged mask-wearing and social distancing, and a pool that I could finally swim in regularly) I still found myself experiencing a sense of dread like I'd seldom experienced before. The ability to be creative, to laugh and be at ease - these things seemed elusive, especially at night. But waking up after a fitful night's sleep I would find those feelings mostly gone, vanishing with slumber, at least for a while. The morning was a welcome time and with the sun shining there was hope even during a very uncertain time. So the song became a bit therapeutic for me in some ways. It's a song I wrote for me and sang to myself, over and over, night after night. Playing and singing it got me through a funk and allowed me to imagine a world where there wasn't an awful weight of despair.
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